(NOTE: IN HONOR OF TREATS’ [IN]FAMOUS AESTHETIC, THIS REVIEW WILL BE WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS.)

…YES, I REALIZE I’M A BIT BEHIND THE TIMES ON THIS ONE. TREATS WAS ONE OF THOSE RECORDS THAT CAME OUT JUST AS I WAS SLOWLY FORGETTING ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF FLAMINGOMUZIK, SO I NEVER REALLY GOT A CHANCE TO REVIEW IT…WHICH IS SORT OF A SHAME, AS THIS IS AN AWESOME ALBUM AND IT WAS A PERFECT SOUNDTRACK TO SUMMER 2010. STILL, THE BUZZ HASN’T QUITE FADED, SO I FIGURE I MIGHT AS WELL REVIEW TREATS BEFORE EVERYONE HAS FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT.

THE FIRST THING YOU’LL NOTICE WHEN DROPPING THE NEEDLE (METAPHORICALLY OR LITERALLY - PERSONALLY, I’D REALLY RECOMMEND THE LP AS, NOT ONLY DOES IT SOUND REALLY GOOD ON A DECENT TURNTABLE, THE RECORD ITSELF IS ALSO AN AWESOME-LOOKING PICTURE DISC) ON TREATS IS THAT IT SOUNDS LIKE THIS REVIEW LOOKS. THIS RECORD IS SO LOUD, IN FACT, THAT IT MIGHT EVEN BE ABRASIVE TO THE FIRST-TIME LISTENER. STICK WITH IT, THOUGH, AS THIS IS A GROWER: ONCE YOU GET ACCLIMATED TO THE VOLUME LEVEL, YOU’LL FIND A GIFT FOR MELODY AND SOME TRULY BRILLIANT PRODUCTION - WITNESS THE HORNS AND VOCAL SAMPLES ON “KIDS,” THE SUDDEN, EXPLOSIVE BURST OF ENERGY IN THE FINAL MINUTE OF THE APPROPRIATELY-NAMED “INFINITY GUITARS,” AND THE SUNNY, SUMMERY POP SHOWCASED ON “RILL RILL.”

OH, ABOUT THAT LAST ONE: THOUGH SLEIGH BELLS ARE MOST FAMOUS FOR THEIR EAR-DESTROYING NOISE-POP, THEY’RE ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD AT NORMAL POP AS WELL. IN FACT, THE MIDDLE SECTION OF THE ALBUM IS PRETTY MUCH EXCLUSIVELY DEVOTED TO SHOWCASING THIS SIDE OF THE BAND. WHILE THE ENERGY IS LOWER IN THIS SECTION, IT’S A MUCH-NEEDED BREATHER FROM THE REST OF THE ALBUM’S INTENSITY, AND THE BLOCK OF SONGS HELPS THE ALBUM FLOW FAR MORE SMOOTHLY THEN IT WOULD HAVE OTHERWISE.

IN CONCLUSION, TREATS IS (WAS) A PERFECT SUMMER ALBUM - DUMB IN A GOOD WAY, LOUD, UNPRETENTIOUS, AND REALLY, REALLY FUN. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WERE FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO DISCOVER THIS WHEN IT CAME OUT IN MAY, YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WEREN’T, I’M VERY SORRY, AND I RECOMMEND THAT YOU START YOUR SUMMER 2011 PLAYLIST A BIT EARLY THIS YEAR.

[8.5/10]

[10/10]

It’s a’ight.

No, seriously, that’s all I can think to say about this album. It’s really, really…competent. It’s not bad, in any sense of the word, it’s just not good. And I’m a Killers fan! I should be deluding myself into thinking it’s a “new artistic direction” and that Flowers is trying to find his “own identity.” But, no, this is just another one of those solo albums. You know the kind. They sound juuuuuuust enough like the artist’s original band to make you want another album by said band, but they’re not good enough to actually fill this gap. It’s vicious, it really is.

Okay, there is one bright spot: “Crossfire,” the lead single. It’s a classically Killers-y anthem that, honestly, stands up with the likes of “Somebody Told Me” and “When You Were Young.” If you were to download one song from this album, this is it. Everything else, however, is nothing more than a disappointing stew of new-wave alt-country adequacy.

…Please come back, Killers. :’(

[6.5/10]

P.S. I wanted to make a Flamingo/Flamingomuzik pun in the main review, but I couldn’t think of anything, so…here it is, I guess.

EDIT: OKAY SERIOUSLY TUMBLR STOP DISTORTING THE ALBUM COVERS IN MY REVIEWS

BRANDON FLOWERS LOOKS LIKE HE’S SIX FEET TALL

SERIOUSLY, STOP IT

EDIT TO EDIT: Fixed it. WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW, TUMBLR? >:3

7AM isn’t so much a title as it is a listening instruction. This is the perfect soundtrack for falling asleep and/or waking up, to the point where Teengirl Fantasy’s debut LP almost sounds like a different record when heard at the time period suggested by the front cover. That’s not to say you won’t get anything out of 7AM if you listen to it at, say, 3PM. In fact, that couldn’t be further from the truth, as this is a highly enjoyable romp through dreamland at any time of the day, provided you’ve got the right mindset.

One reason for that: For an ambient-ish electronic record, there’s actually quite a bit of variety here. 7AM’s sonic world ranges from the hypnotic introduction that is “Vibes” to the Asian-sounding strings providing the beat for “In An Arena” to the ’70s soul sample in “Cheaters.” If you fall asleep while listening to this album, it probably won’t be due to boredom.

That’s not to say it never drags, though. While everything leading up to “Cheaters” is certifiably awesome, “Koi Pond” might be a bit too drifty for its own good, and there’s a lingering feeling in the last third or so that the album has hit its peak. Also, if you’re in a particularly ADD mood, you probably shouldn’t listen to this, as the downside of Teengirl Fantasy’s dream-like approach is that you have to be in a very specific state of mind to truly appreciate it.

When you are in that state of mind, however, it’s one hell of a ride. Though this might not be the most energetic, engaging record of the year, that’s because it’s not supposed to be. This isn’t a dance record you can drift off to, it’s an ambient record with beats. Go in with that in mind, and you’ll probably find it pretty enjoyabeikla;nioeklahgnioeklwahgnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

EDITOR’S NOTE: At this point in the review, Jordan passed out due to a dangerous combination of mild sleep deprivation and chillwave. Guess that coffee wasn’t as strong as he thought.

[8.0/10]

No, seriously.

I’ll try to get a review up pretty soon. Sorry about the wait…all twelve of you. :D

1) As mentioned earlier, Paris Hilton, for some strange and eldritch reason, attended the Gorillaz concert at Coachella.

2) After the show, said heiress attempted - and succeeded - to speak with Damon Albarn, AKA the mastermind behind Gorillaz.

3) In an attempt to impress Mr. Albarn, Paris began a conversation about the famous street artist Banksy.

4) Waaaaaaaaaaay the hell back in 2006, when Paris’ self-titled debut album was released, Banksy and Danger Mouse performed a widely-publicized prank in which…oh, God, I can’t write this with a straight face, let’s just quote Wikipedia:

“In August 2006, British graffiti artist Banksy and Gnarls Barkley member Danger Mouse replaced 500 copies of Paris Hilton’s album in British music stores (HMV) with altered album artwork of Paris Hilton topless, and a sticker which said: “Paris Hilton, Debut Album. Featuring “Why Am I Famous?”, “What Have I Done?”, and “What Am I For?”. The inside cover art depicted Hilton with a dog’s head.”

5) So…yeah. This is a thing that happened.

BONUS IRONY: Paris wasn’t finished by the original release date. Know why? Because she wanted to include a cover of “Crazy.” Yes, the song by Gnarls Barkley. SRSLY. And it wasn’t even included on the album.

:D

“Our Prayer/Gee” - Brian Wilson - SMiLE

‘Sup, everyone? It’s me, Jordan, Supreme Overlord of Flamingomuzik. You may remember me from such classic LTAM guest reviews as “I’m Not A Fan, But The Kids Like It,” and…um…

Um…

Well, suffice it to say that I’ve been a follower of LTAM from my first days on Tumblr. Well, for whatever reason,…

Hey, guys, guess what? :D

opomegranateee:

(via livejamie)

this is the best thing ever.

SO. MUCH. WIN.

Behold: “Fool’s Day,” AKA Blur’s Record Store Day single. I was never a huge Blur fan, but this song is SO GOOD. Why was this only available in the UK? :’(